TURKEYS: Remember some of these? They were a waste of time.
1.
"E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial" (Atari 2600): Rush-released for the holidays to capitalize on the success of Steven Spielberg's magical movie, this jaw-dropping stinker isn't just the worst game ever; it defines what a bad game truly is.
The slow, choppy gameplay consists mostly of a green, pixilated E.T. climbing out of pits, dodging an awkwardly programmed detective, and ... getting out of more pits. E.T. himself would trade in stashes of Reese's Pieces to ensure no curious gamer touches this monstrosity.
2.
"Survival Arts" (Arcade): When "Mortal Kombat" revolutionized fighting games, piles of imitators followed, but none as bad as this.
From the cheap, garish costumes and overly dramatic death cries to the horrible controls and character actors, "Survival Arts" will make one burst into fits of laughter with its ineptitude. Did I mention the old guy with a limitless supply of weapons and the boss who looks like Richard Simmons?
3.
"Superman 64" (Nintendo 64): People love Superman because he represents absolute good and can do no wrong -- except when he flies on your home console. This N64 turkey defaces the good name of Superman in every way, forcing the Man of Steel to fly through hoops as a mission.
The gameplay is extremely buggy, with unresponsive controls and limited superpowers. You may find yourself giving up when Lex Luthor challenges, "Solve my maze." Difficult, as there is no maze.
4.
"Gods and Generals" (PC): A tie-in for a hated Civil War movie that can't get basic game programming right.
The low artificial intelligence has soldiers shooting randomly and running through fire until they die; the landscaping has more polygons than a geometry book; there are hardly any game physics; and nearly every troop looks exactly the same. Had the Civil War itself been like this game, it'd probably be known as the Clone Wars long before George Lucas made movies -- if either side even won.
