A new video game, "Rail Simulator," due in January, will feature images of the Cajon Pass.
This is awesome. As anyone knows who has been following my juggernaut campaign to become Emperor of the Inland Empire, I am in favor of promoting our region in every way possible.
I want the entire video game industry to take notice: If you like the Cajon Pass, check out some of our other attractions, too.
"Rail Simulator," from Electronic Arts, will allow gamers to simulate the experience of driving new and vintage locomotives through real-life terrain.
The rail route from Barstow that culminates in Cajon Pass on its descent into San Bernardino was chosen for the game because of its scenery and history, said Nick Straw, a spokesman for Electronic Arts.
"It's kind of a historic route," he said. "It's been around for a long time."
The Inland Empire has tons of stuff that is historic and has been around for a long time. We have enough scenery and imagery to keep the video game industry busy forever.
I would like to see that happen.
For example, who else has a valley so ominous, so sinister, so foreboding, we had to call it ... Death.
That's right, Death Valley has a number of famous locations that are perfect for video games. There's Zabriskie Point, which inspired a movie. Surely it could inspire a video game, too.
There's Scotty's Castle, a bizarre palace built out of spare parts by an eccentric prospector. The video game could be called "Castle of Doom."
Death Valley has the lowest point in the Western Hemisphere, Badwater Basin, nearly 300 feet below sea level. The game could be called "Sink Hole of Death."
We live in a region of highs as well as lows. Mount San Gorgonio, at 11,502 feet, is the tallest mountain in Southern California. It's the perfect setting for a goosebump-raising video game called "Altitude Sickness," or "High Anxiety."
Or maybe it could be an inspirational video game called "Halfway to Heaven."
Naw, that's crazy. Scary games are way more interesting than inspirational games. It's the scary games that sell. And we are loaded, here in the Inland Empire, with scary locations.
Look at Rialto, with its water emergency caused by perchlorate contamination. Maybe with its royalties from the video game "Tall Glass of Poison," the city could fix the problem once and for all.
And then there's Fontana, which takes the brunt of the Santa Ana winds when they howl at their fiercest. Fontana could provide plenty of exciting imagery for a video game called "Blown to Bits."
And what about Redlands with its public safety building that is a public safety hazard? It leaks. It's falling apart. What an inspiration for a video game called "Forsake All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here."
And then there's Loma Linda with its fascinating protein foods made out of soy beans and wheat gluten. Obviously, there is a video game called "Mystery Meat" that is aching to be made here.
Speaking of mysteries, what's up with Apple Valley, which has no apples? It's the perfect setting for a video game to be called "Forbidden Fruit."
And gamers absolutely will stampede for the new game "Parched and Dry," with scenes from the waterless Santa Ana River, and the waterless Dry Lake in the San Gorgonio Wilderness, and the waterless Dry Falls in Palm Springs.
Finally, there totally should be a video game called "Highway to Hell," inspired by the stretch of the 15 Freeway between Devore and Las Vegas.
Endless arguments over which one of those two towns is "Hell" will provide half the fun.